Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Sunday, January 9, 2005

Garden State 2 the Script

Largeman: Hey Siggi.

Me: Whats going on Largeman?

Largeman: Whats not going on?

Me: Right.

Largeman: Life is like a box of chocolates man. A real big box. With lots and lots of flavors. Chocalate and charmel collding in your mouth like magma. The very magma that shaped this earth.

Me: Wow, thats great. Real deep man.

Largeman: Deep. Deep. Layers deep. Like an onion. Like earth. Like earth and its core. Deep like like the universe. Like life.

Me: Yeah, thats great and all. Hows Sam doing?

Largeman: Ask her not her soul benefactor, her lover, her warmth sharer and giver art though all holy matter condenced into a slow vibration...

Me: Oh hey Sam. What are you doing?

Sam: Something thats never been done here. An originality. A unique moment in all of human history.

Me: Your DNA is unique. Every snowflake and person and leaf is unique so really thats not all that impressive.

Sam: Barubidaik.

Me: What?

Sam: I made that up. I mean like without creativity where would we be?

Me: Thats not creativity thats bullshit.

Largeman: So are you coming with us?

Me: Where are you going?

Largeman: Nowhere.

Sam: Everywhere.

Largeman: Wherewhere.

Sam: Thewhere.

Largeman: Of the where.

Me: I think you guys need help.

Largeman: Oh there you are. Siggi, meet our new friend.

Architect: Hello, Siggi.

Me: Who are you?

Architect: I am the Architect. I created the Garden State. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.

Me: Who uses words like ergo in conversation?

Architect: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the Garden State. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably... here.

Me: You haven't answered my question.

Architect: Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

Me: Are all of you in the same philosphy 100 class or something?

Sam: This man is a genius. He like knows everything.

Me: Or nothing.

Largeman: Or everything about nothing.

Architect: Or nothing about everything.

Sam: Or nothing about nothing.

Largeman: Or everything about everything.

Architect: Or nothing about the everything of nothing.

Sam: Or everything about the everything of the nothing that is everything.

Largeman: Or...

Me: For christ sake, shut the fuck up! I hate you guys.

Largeman: Or you love us.

Architect: Perhaps he just loves to hate.

Sam: Or loves to love.

Me: Thats it im leaving.

Random Guy: Good luck searching the endless abyss of life.

Me: Whatever.