Monday, October 24, 2011

Another Visit Home Another Migraine

Dad: Why you no pick up phone?
Me: You guys call me so many times with such lunacy that I have to make decisions when I see the house on caller ID.
Dad: I called once. To tell you to bring the camera home when you come.
Me: Ask your wife how many times she called me.
Dad: Now what has she done?
Me: She called her grown child like 30 times before my doctors appointment. "Did you make the appointment?" Yes. "Is it at a good time?" No its at midnight. "Make sure you leave in time. I would get there 30 minutes before your scheduled"- CLICK. She calls back. "Do you know how to get to the building?" Sigh...yes. "Do you know where the building is?"-CLICK.
Dad: Jesus Christ woman.
Me: It gets better. She calls back a little later. This time to lecture me on what to tell the doctor.
Dad: What to tell the doctor?
Me: Yeah. "Make sure you tell him what's wrong with you. You need to let him know you are sick."
Dad: Mother of god.
Me: If she hadn't informed me I recon the doctor would have asked me how I was, and I would have smiled at the guy and said, "No, doc. How are YOU feeling?" Then he would have broke down in tears and told me about his divorce. Then I probably would have sang to him. One of the folk songs his grandmother used to put him to sleep with as a baby. Then a 40 dollar copay and 10 dollar parking fee later I would have sat in the car with a smile on my face when suddenly a sneeze comes. Oh wait, I forgot to mention I was sick.
***Mother is nodding in a 'this could definitely happen' type way***
***Father is running his nails down his face***
Me: And that, dear father...Is why I don't answer calls from home.